Fantasy Week #2 - Recap

Two weeks are officially complete and it's time for the weekly recap. How did your team fare?

Week 2 delivered pure madness. Star QBs limped off, kickers acted like wide receivers, and some managers apparently thought their benches were the starting lineup. Burrows Churros lost more than just a game, Ceedee’s TD’s reminded everyone why he’s the league villain, and one Android user is still holding our group chats hostage in 2025.

It was a week of heartbreaks, head-scratchers, and just enough drama to keep us glued to the waiver wire. Buckle up — here’s how it all went down.

4th and Forever stomps Burrows Churros (152.96–107.84)

Burrows Churros’ season hit a speed bump — more like a wall — as Joe Burrow’s toe called in sick for the next three months. Even Puka Nacua’s 30.6-point fireworks display couldn’t patch the hole. On the other side, Jared Goff went full pinball wizard, racking up 47.96 points, while De’Von Achane and Jonathan Taylor played “hold my Gatorade” with big outings of their own. The defenses? They decided tackling was optional, combining to allow 979 yards and 66 points. Brutal.

Commissioner’s Pick: Burrows Churros (LOSER)

Baisden’s Bungals drop the hammer on Ceedee’s TD’s (170.78–132.90)

Baisden’s Bungals came alive in Week 2, lighting up the scoreboard for a league-high 170.78 points. Amon-Ra St. Brown was unguardable with 39.2 points, and Patrick Mahomes and Christian McCaffrey piled on like it was a backyard scrimmage. On the other sideline, Ceedee’s TD’s sputtered. James Cook cooked up 29.5 points, but the disaster duo of Derrick Henry and Chase McLaughlin combined for a grand total of 3.3 points — less than most kickers do alone. The league’s villain finally took an L, and everyone cheered like the countdown clock struck zero during the Era's Tour.

Commissioner’s Pick: Baisden's Bungals (WINNER)

Team Michelle shakes it off, beats Who’sAfraidOfKittleOldMe (141.50–112.24)

Team Michelle is 2–0 and making the rest of the league see red. Lamar Jackson dropped 33.8 points, and kicker Brandon Aubrey was basically the man, booting his way to a stunning 23 points. Who'sAfraidOfKittleOldMe (spoiler: it wasn’t Team Michelle) tried to fight back with Jaxon Smith-Njigba’s 18.8 points, but Jalen Hurts was stuck in a “Cruel Summer” at just 10.54 points. Meanwhile, Trevor Lawrence sat on the bench wondering if this was The Last Time he’d be ignored after scoring 27.74. To top it off, Who'sAfraidOfKittleOldMe rolled the dice on Calvin Austin, a move that left Swifties everywhere asking: …are you ready for it? The answer: nope.

Commissioner’s Pick: Who'sAfraidOfKittleOldMe (LOSER)

3rd and Juan drowns Vigilante Blitz (150.68–128.50)

3rd and Juan cruised to his second win of the season, powered by Jameson Williams (21.8) and Jahmyr Gibbs (20.4). Vigilante Blitz, meanwhile, dropped her second straight game despite Ja’Marr Chase erupting for 36.5 points — apparently, even Joe Burrow’s busted toe can’t stop him. Unfortunately, the rest of her roster looked more like the 2024 Miami Dolphins in December: lots of hype, not much execution. To make matters worse, she left 76 points sitting pretty on the bench. Brutal. And while 3rd and Juan racks up wins, he continues to single-handedly destroy league group chats with his Android in 2025 — green bubbles, blurry photos, and all.

Commissioner’s Pick: Vigilante Blitz (LOSER)

Team Andrew squeaks by Joe Buck Yourself (135.28–127.42)

In the tightest game of Week 2, Team Andrew — who still can’t be bothered to come up with a real team name — slipped past Joe Buck Yourself to go 2–0. Justin Herbert (27.78) and Javonte Williams (25.0) did just enough to get it done, even if Andrew’s squad put up the lowest winning score of the week. Joe Buck Yourself was powered almost entirely by Malik Nabers’ monster 40.2 points, but the supporting cast ghosted harder than Andrew’s hairline. Two straight losses for Joe Buck Yourself, two straight wins for the Chrome Dome.

Commissioner’s Pick: Team Andrew (WINNER)

Week 2 Record: 2-3

Season Record: 4-6