S2: Week #1 Results

GRIDIRON DYNASTY: WEEK 1 RECAP

While the rest of the league spent Week 1 grinding waiver claims and refreshing injury reports, two owners were somewhere in Europe toasting ten years of marriage — no lineup notifications, no last-second flex decisions, just wine and a decade of putting up with each other. Romantic.

Unfortunately for 4th and Forever and Vigilante Blitz, fantasy football does not honor anniversaries, and both of them got run over anyway. Nothing says "I love you" quite like coming home to a 0-2 start.

Elsewhere: Kenneth Walker III turned in a legitimately unfair stat line, Kyle Pitts caught exactly zero passes on zero targets (a tight end achieving true nothingness), and the commish went 3-2 on picks — betting against his own future brother-in-law and losing, because apparently that's just tradition now.

Ceedee's TD's 163.24 def. Burrows Churros 147.16

Peaches wins. Again. Somewhere Derrick Henry casually strolled in for 3 touchdowns and 144 total yards, Christian Watson turned a Packers offense into personal target practice (6/8, 147 yards, 2 TDs), and Kenneth Walker III just decided gravity didn't apply to him — 173 yards and 3 total scores.

Burrows Churros put up a genuinely solid week — Chris Olave went off for 182 yards, CeeDee Lamb found paydirt — and it still wasn't enough, because you can't outscore three separate monster games with one and a half good ones.

The commish picked himself over the heel, per club rules, and got embarrassed for his loyalty. Some traditions deserve a rethink.

Commish pick: Burrows Churros ❌ (wrong)

Enchanted to Beat You 202.12 def. 3rd and Juan 161.60

The reigning champ posted the single highest score in the league, and it wasn't remotely close. Jalen Coker — a name nobody in this league had heard of three hours earlier — turned into an actual problem: 8 catches, 138 yards, 2 touchdowns, one from 50-plus yards out.

Add D'Andre Swift finding the end zone three times and Bijan Robinson quietly going full receiving back (90 yards on 8 grabs), and 3rd nd Juan never had a chance. Jahmyr Gibbs' 156-yard, 2-touchdown day would've won most matchups this week. It lost by 40.

Commish pick: Enchanted to Beat You ✅ (correct)

Joe Buck Yourself 143.66 def. 4th and Forever 129.84

Justin Jefferson had arguably the best individual game in the entire league — 8 catches, 92 yards, 2 touchdowns, a two-point conversion for good measure — and 4th and Forever still lost, because Josh Allen decided to have one of those days: 334 yards, 2 through the air, 2 more with his legs, good for a ridiculous 40.66 points, the week's actual high score.

Between the fantasy loss and a decade of marriage that clearly hasn't taught him to check his lineup before boarding a flight, Zack's priorities in Week 1 were... in order, actually. Anniversary well spent.

Commish pick: 4th and Forever ❌ (wrong)

Baisdens Bungals 162.16 def. Chase-in' W's 111.56

Caleb Williams quietly had the actual best fantasy game of the week — 269 yards and 2 total passing touchdowns, plus 2 more on the ground, good for 40.76 points — and Amon-Ra St. Brown and David Montgomery both chipped in multi-touchdown days behind him. Chase-in' W's got a genuine bright spot in Ashton Jeanty (102 total yards, 2 scores), but everything below him fell apart: Davante Adams managed 5.60 points, Tony Pollard 4.40, and the kicker — the kicker — somehow finished with a single point. A 51-point loss doesn't happen by accident.

Commish pick: Baisdens Bungals ✅ (correct)

Better Business Burrow 124.80 def. Vigilante Blitz 89.52

Vigilante Blitz's Europe trip apparently extended to her lineup's effort level. Zay Flowers was genuinely excellent — 150 yards, a touchdown, 30 points — but he was the only one who showed up. Ja'Marr Chase managed 2 catches for 12 yards. Jaylen Waddle caught one pass for two yards. Kyle Pitts finished the day with zero targets and zero catches, which takes a special kind of afternoon. Better Business Burrow didn't need fireworks against that — DJ Moore's 100-yard touchdown day and a couple of Javonte Williams scores were plenty. Happy anniversary; here's your second loss of the week.

Commish pick: Better Business Burrow ✅ (correct)

Commish Picks — Week 1: 3-2

Commish Picks — Season 2 Standings: 3-2

Commish Picks — All-Time (Seasons 1–2): 40-35